The following trailer is rated H for honest In a gaming world dominated by the spring-loaded, hobgoblin known as Mario, makes some room in your heart for a sad excuse for a brother, Luigi, as he fights a much more relatable foe than a serial-kidnapping dinosaur-turtle: crippling anxiety. Luigi’s Mansion. Join Luigi in his first starring role… because everyone agrees that “Mario is Missing” doesn’t count. Where instead of having an awesome platforming adventure where he collects some sort of cosmic object Luigi accidentally wins a “Resident Evil” style mansion by clicking the wrong spam emails. And with the help of a mad scientist, has to ghostbust the whole place down with a vaccuum cleaner to save his bro in the weirdest occupation for a Mario brother since “Dr. Mario”. Never take one of those pills from a guy on mushrooms kids. Discover the origins of the modern Luigi, where Luigi finally submits his transition from green-coloured, stretched out Mario to a unique individual with a character trait all his own: snivelling cowardice as the Earth’s wild plumber converts the world’s most child-friendly ghost with pants-wetting terror, fearfully hums along to the music, which I guess is playing in the mansion? *humming Luigi intensifies!* and scour seemingly empty rooms with his teeth clenched, grimly in fear, except when he’s humping furniture until coins come out. Look, a man’s got his needs.
Luigi: Oh yeah. Master the gameplay that was clearly the direct inspiration for “Alan Wake”, as you use your flashlight to freeze ghosts in their tracks like startled deer Then draw them in your magical ghost vacuum like dust bunnies as you move up the food chain from simple dollops of ectoplasm, to fully fleshed out rigs with human features, and elaborate puzzles to solve before you can get your SUCC, where you rodeo them around the room till they’re spent and captured, and the room lights up all nice and presentable. Because, as much as Luigi wants to save Mario, he’s definitely going to flip this place, for like… 20 mil. Experience Nintendo’s foray into the….Horror genre? As this ambitious Mushroom Kingdom/Poltergeist crossover has you tip-toing through a haunted house for extremely tepid jumpscares that wouldn’t frighten a toddler, in a horror game that’s less frightening than a warm bath. The real terror is not knowing what to do next and having to backtrack. But hey, the Gamecube didn’t launch with a Mario game so grin and bear it, kiddo. So you best get to busting, cause that house isn’t going to succ itself. And despite being an extremely shameless Ghostbusters ripoff, and an even bizarre idea for a Mario game, this whole “Luigi’s Mansion” thing actually holds up pretty well for the whole six hours that it takes to beat it. Come on, Nintendo! I’ve taken dumps longer than that! STARRING, And: You know, when you consider how many people having to had die in that mansion for there to be that many ghosts, this game seems a whole lot darker. Comment below on what you want me to read in my Epic Voice. *COMMENT READING INTENSIFIES*